The Stress of Wanting More

Hello again my friend,

We’re hosting a major event later today at beehiiv, our Winter Release Event. 10,000 people signed up to see our biggest update of the year. It’s an incredible opportunity for the business and for our team. But man, is it stressful.

Today, I’m here to talk to you about stress. The career-focused, entrepreneurial person who wants more. It took me so long to figure these things out, and frankly, it probably took me longer than it should’ve. But if it helps even one of you feel better, today, tomorrow, next month, or for the rest of the year, I’ll be happy.

Let’s lock in.

Late nights, early mornings, endless checklists. There’s always one more thing to fix, one more detail to nail, one more fire to put out. Again, stressful, but I’m lucky. I get to choose this.

I’ll hear people say they want more. Want better. Want it all. And unfortunately, most tap out when the stress hits.

It’s the classic shoulder shrug “that’s just how it is,” as if it’s an excuse to check out. As if wanting more (and winning) doesn’t come with a cost. But it does.

And the words are all bullshit. It was bullshit when I said the same for years. I’m guilty of it too.

So before I get into managing stress, I want to highlight something about all this that’s too easy to forget.

Stress, in a career or business context, is a choice. Family stress and health stress aren’t optional. But walking an ambitious path is something you sign up for. We could get a simple job, and cruise, but we don’t. We’re fortunate we have that choice.

But it’s so easy to lose track, and forget we control it all.

The stress right now is not from the event itself. It doesn’t come from the workload or the fear of messing up. The real stress comes from the mental boom, the explosion of loose ends in your life all firing off at once.

It’s when the rest of your life tries to become your priority.

And every time you fall short, a quiet voice says:

“If you were really built for this, you wouldn’t drop the ball.”

That’s the stress. The identity conflict. Not the work. Because there’s no limit. It’s everything, all at once.

Here’s the difference.

I know the event will end. I know the lock-in phase I’m focused on will end. And that’s why I can prioritize current priorities over other things. It’s not forever.

But that quiet voice convinces us to fight the same uphill battle over and over.

For me, it was about realizing that when there’s one goal, some other things just don’t matter (at least for now), as bad as that sounds.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting more. It’s so much better than checking out.

But if you spend your whole life trying to find the “right” answer for other things that are no priorities, your whole life becomes a test.

You know the most stressful part of school (at least for me)? It was always test day.

Right now, I’m revamping the most-used feature across all our paying customers. One bug in the wrong place and suddenly 20,000+ people have a reason to be pissed, and a reason to blame me (and my innocent co-workers), for any damage.

No pressure, right?

So of course I’m missing a gym day if I need to. And that’s okay.

What helped me make sense of all this was realizing that life isn’t supposed to be balanced all the time. It moves in seasons, whether you acknowledge them or not.

Right now, it’s season where I focus on the work, and accept that some parts life will be quieter for a while. Not because it’s losing. Not because I’m failing, but because no one needs carry every identity at full power simultaneously.

When you think in seasons, the stress loses its sting. You stop demanding that every area of your life improve at the same pace. You stop pretending you’re supposed to be everything at once. Instead, you give yourself permission to concentrate.

November/December is about execution and deadlines.

January might for rebuilding routines.

But you enter that next season with a higher baseline on the work, because of how seriously you took this one.

Great goals are time-boxed. In this month I crush everything for the event. In the next, I prioritize something else.

After this season, my work has a higher baseline. After the season before, my relationships were in a good place and stayed better than before. After the next seasons, something will improve, but everything continues at a higher level than before.

For me, stress became manageable when I decided what belongs on my desk and what stays on the shelf.

Our improvements compound. Balance appears later. Not by force, not by guilt, but by respecting the season you’re in. And with each passing season, the baselines in different parts of your life improve on their own. Until suddenly, you’ve levelled up across all of them.

When something hits your desk, you handle it. When something belongs on the shelf, you let it sit without hating yourself for it.

Those decisions happen on your terms, aligned with your priorities, not from panic or pressure.

Stress isn’t a sign that you’re failing. It’s a sign that you want more, and that you’re becoming someone capable of holding more.

We just have to remember which season we’re in.

Thanks again for reading. I hope that helps.

All the best.