Dealing With People Who Did Me Wrong

Hello again,

Not every employer is beehiiv. Friends don’t always want support your new business. Customers don’t always pay their bills. So often, people will do us wrong to get ahead.

What then?

I write a lot about work, promotions, mistakes (last week included many), and I always get this question at least once. And it’s a good question.

I’ve been there many, many times. Today, we’ll cover happened to me and how I dealt with it.

Where I handled it well, where I messed up, and how you can avoid or make the most of these situations.

Here’s a quick list:

• An employer intentionally shorted me on my last paycheck to try and have me beg for my own money.

• Many freelance clients who got the work they asked for and just didn’t pay.

• Co-workers (not where I work now), would constantly lie to leadership about what was happening to make me look bad and save their own skin.

Nobody’s perfect. I’ve made mistakes too (and people were right to call me out). This is not me saying “I’m good” and “they’re bad,” I don’t think it works that way. This is about how to handle the situations when they happen. Just business.

If even one person reading this can handle even one dispute in a way that creates a better outcome, I’ll be happy.

Let’s get into it.

The bad employers of the world

They have a habit of low-balling and short-changing their staff. Low-balling is one thing, but making people have to ask for their own money is. Here’s what happened.

I worked as a business development manager for nearly three years at this one company (that will remain nameless). While there, the company had some of the greatest success it ever had. But, the money was mismanaged. Fast-forward, half the company was let go in one day. There were tears, people got the wine (in the office), it was all very badly handled.

So, I started looking for a different job. After I found one, I resigned. When I got my last cheque, more than half the money was missing (in Canada, we get paid out for unused vacation time, unpaid commissions on closed deals, overtime, and several other things).

I mentioned the missing money right away, the CEO said it wasn’t owed. We argued, it was intense, and I left very unhappy (putting it lightly).

But, what did I do next?

• I told the CEO what was due and I wouldn’t take less.

• The CEO told a mutual friend some personal things about how he wanted me to feel that killed his credibility. For people’s privacy, I won’t get into it.

• Because I had closed clients who I then referred to other businesses, I called all those other businesses and told them the situation (they were friends with this employer).

• As time went on and I didn’t get paid, I told everyone (CEO, other business owners) that if I didn’t get my money I’d be going back to those clients with a lot to say (I had great relationships with those clients, and still do).

• Naturally, I got advice from a lawyer (I shared that with him to add pressure).

This employer also knew that I’d been working two jobs (while crushing it for this company), because of my financial situation after my dad suddenly passed away.

I got my money eventually.

Next, I’ll share why it worked, and what I’d recommend to someone in a similar situation.

And for the record, this is not necessarily a bad guy. But, he made a huge mistake with someone else’s money, and made it personal. If he calls me tomorrow I’ll pick up and we’ll talk. But at the end of the day, you can’t mess around with a person’s livelihood.

When it’s time to take a stand

I really believe that if I didn’t take a stand, and threaten to go to those clients, I would not have got my money. I didn’t actually go to them, but the threat matters.

Nobody wants a bad name. I had the receipts and used them as leverage. Was it wrong? I don’t think so. Could it work 100% of the time? Probably not. But sometimes, just showing that you won’t take no for an answer, works.

• Showing that you won’t take no for an answer works.

• Try to settle it privately, and if that doesn’t work, sharing the receipts can work.

• A pattern of behaviour helps. If he was shorting me, I probably wasn’t the first. People try to get away with it if they can, and when they realize they can’t, they give in (because they know they’re wrong for it anyway).

• I didn’t realize it until after it was over. But being aggressive about it worked for me. It wasn’t “hey, could I get that money?” It was. “Hey, you owe me this money and you have to pay it.”

So what would I do next time?

The same things, but I’d have done more upfront. Should have been more proactive. I’d make sure, from early on, people know not to try me.

• I casually drop this story to anybody who seems like they might try it.

• I make it clear upfront (with humour) that there’s no tolerance for acting in bad faith.

People who try to take advantage of you believe there’s a chance they’ll get away with it. If they don’t believe that in the first place, they won’t try it.

And this is especially hard for freelancers or people who really need the money.

Freelance clients who didn’t pay

When I was freelance writing (before ChatGPT), I worked with several clients who paid a deposit, got the work, and didn’t pay the rest.

And I’ll tell you why.

It’s because I was too upfront about how I wanted their business. I discounted too soon. I came off desperate. And in many cases, I was working with losers.

It was all my fault.

I expected small business owners to appreciate when they got a discount. When I did extra work for no additional charges. When I took their 9pm calls to fix something, did it on the spot, and didn’t say anything.

When people can push you around, being ‘nice’ once or twice is fine. Beyond that, I was just showing them they could push me around and I wouldn’t say anything. If I’m not saying anything, why would they stop? This was business. They got a great deal. There’s not much else to it.

So, how would I do things differently?

Fake it till we make it

This may be controversial, but I believe it does work (within reason). Dressing, talking, acting like we have the success we want, changed how people saw me when I was 23 and freelance writing.

Looking back on it now. There are so many things I’d have done differently.

When selling:

• No flat percentage discounts. Lower the amount of work to bring down the price.

• Better salesmanship. I only took sales courses after I got burned like 10 times.

• No needless follow ups. One the next day. One the next week. One the next month. Desperation shows.

• Don’t quit the day job. Or, if freelancing is slow, pick up a day job. It helps keep you from actually being desperate for the money.

I’d add to my credibility with paperwork.

ChatGPT makes this easy. Contracts up front where I hold the work until final payment is made, that it’ll go to collections if not, and so on.

And if they complain. I’d just say. “It’s not about the contract, but my lawyer really needs and I’m paying them so…” (ChatGPT is my laywer). There’s more, but I’ll leave it there.

Did I ever take these people to court? No. I was in my early twenties, needed the money, and had more important things to do. Besides, the costs of going to court in the first place were more than would’ve made (and without the right paperwork, there was no guarantee I’d win).

Did I tell people they didn’t pay me? Not publicly. Again, it’s hard to sign new clients while you’re publicly naming and shaming the last ones. It feels so tough.

Realistically, I’d have just not signed the clients who seemed shady, and I’d have put more pressure on the clients upfront not to mess around.

Coworkers who play dirty

Every person I have ever met who’s worked for even just two years has had a similar experience.

• Someone takes credit for your work

• When you make a mistake, they always say “oh yeah after Darwin did that we had to…”

• They love asking for small favours over and over, and never return them.

• They work less, but because they’re better at politics, they look better.

I’ve dealt with all of these, and it sucks. It sucks so much I went looking for a small startup that couldn’t have had this (beehiiv was only 9 people when i joined).

But, what would I have done?

• Not take it personally.

• Be very vocal about what I’m doing in Slack or your internal messaging tool. Showing is always valuable, especially if you’re doing good work.

• Take diligent notes tracking what each person said (if the company is not using AI for meetings).

Frankly, it’s not wrong to leave if it’s too much. If half the time at work is spent playing politics to look good, then the time’s not going towards the work itself. Play that game long enough, eventually the house of cards will topple.

The team makes the culture. As much as the leaders of the business set the tone, once enough people start coasting, playing politics, and doing all this crap, it’s hard to stop it. Because it has to stop from the top. A lot of the time, the leaders at the business don’t even realize it’s happening.

Wrapping up

On that note, if you don’t like dealing with that kind of politics, beehiiv is hiring. We have several postings for jobs I’ve literally done.

• Customer Support

• Product Management

• Account Executive (sales)

• Solutions

And more. See the full list here:

https://careers.beehiiv.com/

Thanks for reading! Now, a word from today’s sponsor: