35 years

Hello again, my friend,

Birthdays are always a time to reflect. Not just on the year that went by, but on life as a whole. No surprise that it takes longer every year. I’m 35 now. Yes, it does feel like a big number. I remember being 25 and thinking about what the next ten years might have in store.

I remember thinking about my career, future family, friendships, and pretty much everything. The tough times, full of doubt. The excitement for the promise of great things ahead. Goals. Lots of goals. And over those years I think the biggest gains came from taking risks and cutting ties. And the biggest losses almost always came when I let someone else decide.

I thought it right to share the details. The good, the bad, and the hope for the future.

Today, I dive deep into some gems. Past, present, and future, in no particular order. 7/35 gems that summarize 35 years (the rest are for another day).

Let’s lock in.

If you’re an over thinker (like I often am), you gotta be careful not to play yourself into thinking that you need to think harder for a solution to your problems. Nah. Just like how telling a cocaine addict to sniff harder won’t work, telling an over thinker to think harder won’t solve their problems either.

Naturally, people who get burned rushing into things probably should think a little more. Either way, if what you’ve been doing for a long time hasn’t worked, it’s time to try something else.

It sounds silly saying it (like no duh), right? But that’s the point. It’s hard to see it when your wires run one way. I dealt with this for so long.

The rule of thumb is to remind yourself that if you have a problem for more than 3 months you’re probably thinking more than you need to, and it’s time to do something about it.

I had this gem last year at work actually. We had a massive project and fell behind. It involved maybe 150 fixes across the app. We didn’t hit 100%. We weren’t even close. But we did fixes like this monthly, and that seemingly small percentage was actually the most progress we ever made in one of these projects.

When speaking with the team, I gave them this analogy.

Play small, win small. Blueberry-sized goals, even if you hit them, won’t fill you. Of course I wouldn’t want to be so audacious I kill morale. But, sometimes pushing to extremes is what’s needed to hit that next level.

Why do we give people like 10 chances? Just met someone and don’t like that rude comment? Pretend it’s Tinder. Block and run, amigo.

And it’s not just in dating. In business too. I’ve never seen an employee with a bad first month go on to be great. I’ve never seen someone screaming at a waiter turn out to be a “great employer.” Never has any businessman who made a fuss with me over $50 been anything more than a greedy little cheapskate. Maybe don’t outright block and run in business, but consider cutting ties before these people make things worse for you.

We don’t owe anybody new anything, especially in that first year. We don’t have to be nice. We choose to be. And we should continue making that choice, until we see that one strike.

In fairness, I keep the one strike policy if it’s in the first year of knowing them.

I did a massive deep dive looking into a lot of successful creators who are now making millions. Using AI, I went back in time and see what they did to reach their success. It was tough to read and listen to some of that. But that’s the thing. They were cringe for a few years, but now? They make their millions and they’ve improved their content. They did it right.

Hiring virtual assistants to make content for $5 an hour, and selling souls for re-shares and views paid off for many of these people. But the tactics themselves aren’t the point. It’s that they were so cringe for so long, and now they’re successful, to a point where we may not really have to hold back either. It really works.

This is a classic. The businessman with big dreams, but also wants love and a family, eventually having to make constant trade-offs. The gamer who wants to make it big streaming, but needs that day job. The 19-year-old who wants to be successful, but also wants to go to the club and experience that part of life for the first time.

It’s just part of life for ambitious people to make sacrifices. That’s the essence of a passion. Passion isn’t about what brings us the most joy. It’s what we’re willing to suffer for the most.

Priorities and effort dictate everything. A CEO could love that guy, but if he’s constantly pulling her from her dreams of enterprising, there will always be some level of inner turmoil.

In most cases, we often have to pick a second priority that supports the first. A partner who understands the grind. Giving up partying/drinking so you can stay sharp the next day. It all goes hand in hand.

What happened to being nice to people when it cost you nothing? Of course we don’t want to get taken advantage of, but otherwise, I think one of the best things I did over the last few years was make an effort to be nice.

People rarely do business with people they don’t like. And if they do, they’re desperate (maybe not the best person to be in business with). I’m the same way. I’m very susceptible to compliments and enjoy spending time around people who are nice. Sure, everyone has a bad day. But we know it’s not just about one bad day, and we can remove ourselves if we’re not in the right mood to be around other people.

The real ones always get it. They’ll know you have a lot going on. Just like you’ll know they have a lot going on. It’s natural for people to fade away and come back eventually, especially if the lifestyle and goals are different.

There’s no need to believe you owe people something. Small favours are just that, small. Sure, it may not feel good at the time. Yes, they may be upset. But it’s your life, and if someone else is disappointed because you’re living it, that’s their problem. People-pleasing is a real thing, and it’s a problem. It doesn’t have to be, and I wish it wasn’t for me. Hopefully it’s not for you.

Thanks, as always, for reading! Wishing you all the best.

My favourite finds from the past week.

This Volvo ad from last year tugged on heartstrings (and absolutely boosted their sales).

Interesting take on the future of work, if work becomes meaningless.

The best AI release for non-tech people (Claude Cowork).

The best AI release for creative people looking to make videos (Remotion)